How to be a daughter

This is a recent picture of my Dad and I volunteering on Thanksgiving for Equinox

My 86 year old Dad recently moved 10 minutes from our home. I convinced him to move closer 2 years ago while he was still in good health. We put his name on a waiting list for an apartment that was being newly renovated. A year later he is living in an active 55 year and older community. He still drives, cooks, plays card, learning to play Mah Jong, reads, watches the news and is an all in all sweet guy that people enjoy being with. He’s learned his way to the grocery store, doctors, and the YMCA. I speak to him once or twice a day. He updates me on what he ate, doctor’s appointments, building gossip, card games and pain level. (he has chronic pain from shingles and arthritis). I have spoken to him extensively on his happiness level, from his perspective he says it was the right move. Phew.

Now that he is settled and happy I worry. I never used to worry about him when he was living in Massachusetts or Florida. He takes up a lot of my emotional time. I worry if he's eating enough, going out, driving around getting lost, I worry that it's getting harder for him to get around and then what do I do? My husband often says to me your enabling him, but really at 86? I will mention, that I'm a Libra. Balance is my middle name. I think I am balancing letting go vs. too much help. It's also a good time to mention that I am a full time artist. I have a studio in my house. Having a structured day is critical to my work. I need chunks of time. I'm not the kind of artist who can work for an hour and leave it. So having my Dad, here, calling me, needing things, has put somewhat of a damper on my precious time. I often tell him, I can't talk, I'm working. He doesn't always get it. Now the guilt and the worry….is he lonely, happy, etc…

Next is my Mom. That can wait for another day. See where this is all going? If so, tell me!!!